Part 2 ~ What To Do About Aunt Dot

Aunt Dot will be 90 years old in November. She seems to be trying to block out what has happened to her, therefore, she has started just saying "I don't remember" to complicated questions I have to believe she just don't want to deal with it anymore. To some, due to her age, she sounds as if she is losing her short-term memory. I believe she has just had too much on her mind and that mind just needs a rest and I truly feel she will rally. I feel this way, but my brain is questioning that feeling.

I just want my Aunt Dot back as she was. She has always been so independent and strong.

Living alone makes older people vulnerable to con men. They are easy targets for quick money . They are alone, they need so many small things done around the house and yard.

They soon make strangers friends as they are lonely. My Aunt Dot is like thousands of others, they are in need of someone to drive her... to the grocery, the drug store or to the Doctor....
PLUS someone to cut the grass and other odd jobs fir them. Once a friendship is established, they are invited into their homes for visits as they need visitors.

Aunt Dot has been through a year that no older person should have to endure.
Yes, she has been a victim of a scam that has gone on over this past year. The little guy slowly won her trust and soon her money took wings.
--- --- --- ---
I can still see her as she was ~ young and enjoying life. I can still visualize her gentleman friend who drove the shinny black car and wore stylish clothes. It didn't take her long to be head over heels in love as he was so attentive. As it turned out, he also was married. This devastated Aunt Dot.

The war came to an end and immediately she meet a tall, dark and very handsome Texan . He was as she always said, the someone who came back from the war. He had been a Flyer and had flown many missions over Germany. She was taken by him and she made him a quick cure for the failed romance with "Mr Too Good to be true."

Well, Mr. Too Good didn't want to lose her and said he would win his freedom for the wife and marry Aunt Dot...Mr. Too Good apparently was desperate...but his offer came just a little too late.

I remember the last time I saw Mr. Too Good. He came our house late one afternoon to see Dot. I rushed to meet him running about the house to the front stairway. Reaching the stairway I was stopped by the sight before me. My mother was standing tall, looking down at Mr. Too Good. She had stopped him before he had gotten to the top. He moved back and leaned on the concrete ledge and was looking up at my mother. Apparently, neither of them took note of my presence across from him at the bottom of those wide steps. My mother told him Dot was not at home. She, in her most cruel tone, seemed to gloat when she reported Dot had met another. Mr. Too Good, with hat in hand, slumped back bracing himself on the concrete

Children in those days were to be seen and not heard, but on this day, I was not even seen... I stood there being totally ignored as their adult conversation about love and fidelity filled my head with far more than a 5 year old should know about life. I remember holding my breath and wishing she would be nicer. I felt his pain. My mother blistered his ego and maybe broke his heart as well. He stood there ...I can see him now...dressed in the latest 1940's style suit and holding hat in hands. He was explaining to my mother that he loved Dorothy beyond words. Her reply to him showed no sympathy and ask him to leave and never come back or try to see Dorothy. I felt sorry for him, as he looked down at his hat and turned it around in his hands....and after what seemed forever, he whirled around, bounding down the steps to his shinny car. I hated to see him go. I was such a little girl and I felt so sad to see him hurt as I knew Aunt Dot loved him beyond words as well. That was one of the secrets she shared with me. She told me she would always love him. I felt I would never see him again and I didn't.

To be cont...

What To Do About Aunt Dot

The second part of the trip to attend my College Reunion was to see about Aunt Dot.
Aunt Dot is becoming a sad case.
For sure, a fundamental fact of life is that we can never imagine the future.

Aunt Dot lived with us when I was a very little girl. WW ll was raging and seemed as if everything we needed was either limited or unavailable. Housing was unavailable as was cars, sugar, bananas and I can't remember what else. We all were aware of "the War effort." As I said, Aunt Dot lived in our big house on the hill with my family. I was about 5 years old when she moved in.

Aunt Dot was young, blond and very beautiful and single. She was outgoing and fun. I remember these times so well. It was a scary time in the world and what I knew about that War came by overhearing the adults talk among themselves after I was in bed. I had nightmares as I didn't know geography and didn't know where the bombing was happening. Another part was the sadness of the war that I felt through Aunt Dot's friendships.

Now she is 90 years old. I has to be very sad to become alone and have no children. We cousins came together on this trip to decide what to do about Aunt Dot. She is in need of everything to be done for her, yet she sits in her recliner as proud as ever, trying to be in charge of her live as major problems exist..

Today, I see her in the ashes of what she used to be. Age has a way of robbing beauty but now the love we have for her. Aunt Dot was a big influence on my life as she was very outgoing and fun-loving.

I can see her dancing the Charleston and Boogie Woogie in our living room as the Swing Music played. A little girl which was me, dances with her. She was the light of my young life.

I remember that she received letters from one of her boyfriends who was stationed in Germany where the harsh war was underway. Children don't have to be told directly, they pick up what is going on about there. I noticed she didn't rush to meet the postman anymore and she didn't sit at the table writing letters anymore. After a few weeks of being sad, she apparently decided to get on with her life.
Her social life picked up.

She had only those guys who were unfit for duty call on her. Everyone else was drafter and was gone.

She and I would sit in the porch swing where she told me secrets. She told me that the man she would marry would be someone who would come home from the war. (She was right.)

At that point, she only went out with men who took her dancing and bought her dinner. Nothing serious. She was very beautiful and had her pick. She had nice dresses and a fur coat which she bought herself. She soon caught the eye of a very important man who always wore suits with ties, highly polished shoes and drove a bigger car than anyone. He would come for her often and she really fell for him. The problem was that each neighborhood was allowed one phone to share and it wasn't in our house.

The only telephone in the entire neighborhood was at a neighbor's house. The reason the neighbor was selected to have the one phone allowed per neighborhood was that she had a son serving in the Navy and was in the Pacific.
For this reason, Aunt Dot never knew when her beaus would be coming over.

In those days, there were no blow dryers, or curling irons for quick hair fixes and for that matter, no clothes dryers as well. Many times Aunt Dots friends would call on her unexpectedly and have to wait for her to dress. At times she had to run to wash her hair and scurry to the kitchen to hold her head in the oven door to dry it as quickly as possible. Her caller waiting patiently in our living room. There were no TV's so they sat quietly. I would stay with Aunt Dot to see her work magic as when she walked out, she was a beauty queen well worth the wait.

To be cont...